If Folk Choir Officers Met on Thanksgiving

Well Steve is a ruthless sort and called an officer’s meeting at 7pm on Thanksgiving Day. You may not have been there, but I was. Here are the minutes.

Opening Prayer: ‘Now Thank we All our God’ by Joe Nava. Paul Hommes’ hands were greasy and his only excuse was ‘I was out catching a turkey’…in the wild…in Oregon. What a man.

Budget
-Mary McLaughlin has liquidated the folk choir account to buy sweet potatoes; everything would’ve worked out fine except that damn woman from accounting named Deb or Sharon or Lydia was too busy crimping her pie crust to approve the transaction, so our money is in yam limbo (whatever that is)
-Current Budget: 17 ½ sweet potatoes
-Geoffrey points out that this math isn’t right
-Mary doesn’t care
-Neither does Joe

[Enter Cassie Provenzale with a package of teriyaki flavored turkey jerky to share]

Tour Update
-Meg gives us the lowdown on the Winter Trip to Grandmother’s house.
-She has a bus for Through the Woods but is still working on the ferry for Over the River. This is another one of those complicated you-have-to-arrange-travel-over-water tours. Meg is frustrated. But there are posters!
-Video suggestions: Muppet Christmas Carol, Old Yeller (vetoed)
-Mary suggests that if we asked for the bus funding in sweet potatoes they’d get it to us faster.

Finer Points of Killing a Turkey w/ Paul Hommes…in the wild…in Oregon
-Graphic description sent Steve reeling for a copy of ‘Garment of Love’
-Let’s just say it involved Judo

[Steve announces he has written a psalm from the text of the Mayflower Compact. Apparently there isn’t enough ‘pilgrim imagery’ in the liturgy.]

Folk Choir Social Event—Cassie Provenzale
-A peacemaking ceremony between Lit and Folk Choirs
-Mass followed by a blessing by Fr. Doyle
-Folk choir will dress as pilgrims and Lit choir will dress as Indians as a symbol of our peaceful cohabitation. THEN WE’LL GO BOWLING WHOOOOOO!
-Traditional garb will be used. Andy Lawton begins to drool.

[At this point the meeting is interrupted by Jessica Mannen, who makes a motion to change the name of Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving-Ween and threatens to beat us up with her harem of sheep if we don’t abide. Steve saves the day. “Uh, Jessica, could you go get me 14 copies of the Tereseros Ocultos octavo?” She’s gone for 20 minutes.]

Upcoming Concerts
-November 24: We are Thankful—A Cornucopia of Song
-Featuring such FC hits as ‘Drumstick of my Heart’, ‘Cross-Pie’, ‘Escucha—Stuff it up the Bird’, ‘May you Cling to Wishbone’

Last Business
-Andy asks everyone to say what Thanksgiving food they like the most.
Paul: anything from the wild…in Oregon
-Barbie: Diet Coke
-Andy: Charles Dickens! Charles Dickens!
-Marge: A nice juicy triple cheeseburger, extra onions
-Cassie: Thinks the turkey jerky is pretty good
-Jessica: Pumpkin Pie…WEEN
-Mary: sweet potatoes
-Geoffrey: slips into a food coma before we can ask. Let’s just put down biscuits.
-Steve: Cranberries, because Gonzo sings a good song about it
-Joe: Leftovers (Get it? Fifth year? Haaaaaaaaaaaa…ehhh.)

The meeting is about to adjourn when Geoffrey Mooney mistakes Joe Nava for a Native American and grabs his musket from under the table. Chaos erupts. Everyone stands up like shocked cowboys in a bad Western bar scene. Barbie grabs the musket and points it toward the ceiling, knocking Steve’s glasses off. (We’re still not sure if this was an accident.) Cassie lunges for Geoffrey and spills the turkey jerky. Jessica returns from the library with 16 copies of music but is promptly hit by a flying piece of jerky and they all flutter up into the air. Paul Hommes leaps from his chair and assumes judo position. Mary just sits in her seat screaming like a little girl….or it might have been practice for her postlude dance at the concerts. Meg takes the opportunity to seize Andy Lawton and demand the Charles Dickens monster come out of him. In a strangled gobble he cries, “But we could wear traditional garb! It could be traditional!”

Then Steve agrees to sing the Sister Act version of Hail Holy Queen at the next Sunday liturgy and Barbie gets to do the part of the one nun who says “Virgo espici mater espici” and all are happy. God bless us, every one.